Articles and Presentations

DC Velocity February 2005
Not-so-civil wars
By Donald Jacobson and Shelley Safian

Can't they all just get along? Apparently not. No matter how big or small your workplace, sooner or later, relations between two employees will erupt into conflict. Before long, the simmering hostility seems to permeate their every meeting and interaction. It's impossible not to notice the bite in their tone even when they try to carry on a civil conversation. Trouble is, oftentimes they're both valuable to the company and cause no problems outside of their personality conflict with one another.

What's the solution? Over the years, we've seen managers try several different approaches--some effective, some not. Let's take a look at some of them:

• The Sergeant Schultz Method: Like the bumbling commander of "Hogan's Heroes" fame ("I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nothing."), some managers simply ignore the problem, hoping it will go away. Once in a while, a conflict may resolve itself--particularly if it stemmed from a minor incident. But that usually doesn't happen. If you suspect a problem, confront it, especially if one of the staff members comes to you for help. Ignoring it sends the message that the employee doesn't matter to you.
• The Don King Method: The "let them fight it out" approach might be lucrative for Don King, but for most managers, this method is one to be avoided. Letting an argument play out in public is no solution. At worst, it could escalate into a physical altercation. Encouraging two people to fight it out is irresponsible.You also could find yourself liable if someone gets hurt.
• The Henry Kissinger Method: What about bringing in a third party to negotiate a peace settlement? Sometimes it helps to call in a mediator who can establish rules for the meeting beforehand and then sit in on the discussion to encourage each party to listen to what the other has to say and keep the conversation focused. If necessary, he or she may also play translator, particularly if one of the participants has trouble expressing himself. A word of caution: Do not try to play mediator yourself. This negotiator should be an outsider (or at least someone from another department).
• The Marie Antoinette Method: Let them eat cake--or in this case, lunch. Some managers order the battling staffers to break bread together. This strategy, which gets them out of the workplace, is particularly effective for conflicts based on misperceptions or the influences of others. Another plus is that relocating the discussion to a public setting encourages them to discuss their differences in a civilized manner (without outbursts or physical violence).
• The Donald Trump Method: You're fired! This is a drastic measure to be used only in extreme cases. Before resorting to firing, you need to find out the whole story. You don't want to fire the wrong person.
• The Abigail Van Buren Method: As Dear Abby has shown us, sometime conflicts are best addressed via the written word. The two battling parties may find it easier to articulate their concerns by writing down their viewpoints. Not only does the writing process help them organize their thoughts, but it also gives them a chance to tone down inflammatory statements. Once the letters are written (make sure you review them), have the participants read each other's statement and respond in writing. They may be able to solve the problem without further ado.

Whichever approach you decide on, act quickly. Allowing a personality conflict to fester will only make things worse. Why let a skirmish escalate into World War III?

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